Appreciation

Dear you,

I guess I am really thankful to have you in my life. I hope that I can still feel the same way about you many years down the road. Today you asked me once again after a brief hiatus to be your girlfriend. Your reason, it made you happy to introduce me as your girlfriend (this makes me smile, even now), you wanted to give me a status (not really needing it, but alrights..) and that you wanted to let me know what I meant to you, even after a while of not bringing it up.

After having dated some mistakes, the insecurity I feel is so immense it messes with my rationality. And yet it doesn't bother you. I am not sure whether to laugh at your stupidity for plunging into dark waters or to applaud your courage for daring to do it despite not knowing what the outcome is.But this settles me a little, knowing that to some extent you are an anchor(I hope I'm not wrong) where in moments of turbulence I can hold onto. Even when I push you away (which I usually do when I feel too dependent so as to safeguard my own interests) you are still there, accepting me, flaws and all reassuring me that my existence is not a joke. Words fail me in the description of my appreciation towards you in moments like these, sometimes these are the very moments that I actually really need you beside me.

We brought up issues of being proud of your other half. You listed a few about me, I feel its just me being anal about lame details and you for some reason being happy to take my bullshit. For me what makes me proud to even know you is that you have a kind and rather generous heart. So unlike me in many ways. So much more giving and caring towards the people around you, even those you do not know. Perhaps I am glorifying you, but its the small actions that you do not notice that overcome whatever "flaws" I construed in my head from the beginning. Besides that, I am also amazed at how you take over my friends and family. Secretly, I think they like you more than me.But I am glad to have found someone that can click with the ones I hold dear to heart, for I cannot imagine having to make a clear division. For this, I thank you for your effort.

It's been approximately five months since we have known each other. I am glad for the fate that allows us to meet and the subsequent choices that we made that led us to where we are now. I am not sure if you enjoyed being with me thus far, but speaking for myself, I had oodles of joy, and moments spent with you I hold dear to my heart. I wouldn't claim to know you very well, but I hope to learn more in future.

Signing off with a smile as I picture you in my mind's eye,
Cordelia